only 365 days

It's so crazy to think of where I was this time last year. I was in this exact spot, in the same house, with the same people. I was trying to figure out what in the world I wanted to do with the rest of my life. This time last year I have already made up my mind to not go to college. Looking back now I cant really remember why I chose to do that. I think because I was really afraid. I didn't know what I wanted to do in school. I hated the idea of being back in a classroom. I guess I was comparing it to high school, which as any college student would know, is totally not even close to high school.

I am so thankful for my parents who didn't force anything on me. They left the choice up to me. I remember my dad coming down the shore and we went on a really long walk and I just told him why I didn't want to go to school. He was totally supportive and understood every reason why I wanted to stay home. After the walk he told me to go in his car and he played me a song that pretty much said whatever I do, he will be proud of me. Just to think that my parents love is so strong, he would be proud of me if I decided to become like a taxi driver or something. When we got back from vacation, my dad called school to tell them I will not be attending. All of my family was really supportive. I remember going over to the garbos house and talking to aunt lois, she was telling me about her experience, and even what greg went through. I remember one time greg was home and we talked for like an hour about college. He really helped me through a lot and answered a lot of my questions. I was also considering transferring in after taking a semester off. He was the one who talked me out of it, saying it would be an even harder adjustment because people have already formed their core group of friends, and he couldn't have been more right. I also remember talking to Aunt star and her telling me how much fun college was for her. I guess when I was thinking about school I never thought of all the cool fun things that could come from it. I was thinking of the big scary things, like being out on my own for the first time, being in school, worrying about papers, exams and grades. I was never a good student so the thought of failing out was always in the back of my mind, and look what happened, my first semester my GPA was a 3.0.

For a couple days I was not going to college. My plan was to work in the pharmacy and become a tech or something. The thing that changed my mind was actually finding out who my room mate was going to be. When I saw that it was Chelsea, I got really really excited. It was so comforting to know that I had a friend who I could cling to and who I could live with, instead of a total stranger. Once I found out my housing plans I got really excited and I made my parents call the school to tell them that I would be going. Even though I moved out second semester, God really blessed me with Chelsea as a room mate we went through a lot together first semester and without her I really don't know what would have happened.

I couldn't imagine what would have happened to me if I never went to college. I probably would not have made the friends I did, or figured out what I wanted to do, or be half the person I am right now. I wouldn't be so independent or be this 'new creation' I made myself to be. If I hadn't gone to vfcc I probably would still be the same high school minded girl with a bad attitude and a distorted perception of God. Its weird how 365 days can change me so much. I feel so grown up, but at the same time I still know I have so much to learn and I am so excited for this next upcoming school year. I am excited for my next journey with God and where he is going to take me, the new friend's im going to make and the new things im going to learn from amazing professors.

......His love is boundless