are you listening?

its really hard to write in blogspot. i tend to do more on myspace but not everyone has a myspace. so i will promise i will try to write in here. I dont know why i care so much about who reads this and who doesnt. i guess i just want to be heard.

redundantly redundant

This is kind of an extension off my other entry. This past week I've just really loved being single. Its kind of odd because for a while, especially this summer I kind of longed for a relationship. As much as that doesn't sound like me- its true. For some, being at school can be really difficult cause you see all the cute couples around campus and the people who got engaged this summer or whatever, but honestly, I wouldn't trade this stage in my life for any of that. I read peoples blogs and stuff and they say how hard this stage of their life is, and how they want a relationship and how they want people to care about them and yada yada. I realized that singleness is a total gift from God. I feel no responsibility to anyone, or no obligation to anyone. One thing I hated when I was in a relationship was the constant guilt I felt when I was with my boyfriend and not with friends, and truth be told, my friends were probably having more fun then I was.

I love just being at school and hanging out with whomever I want all the time. There is just such a freedom there. I loved doing ministry and being single. I love being alone when I want to, and focusing on my school work and MY future first. For the first time in a while I am thinking about myself. I am so used to putting others ahead of me and worrying about their needs first. This year is about me, and what I want and thinking about my future. I want to be able to do the things I want, without thinking about someone else. I mean that may sound a little selfish, but I want to travel, minister, work, and go to grad school without worrying about someone else in my life. I don't want to NOT do something that I am passionate about because someone else is holding me back.

In the words of my mother "Marriage is like- FOREVER". Why are people in such a rush to do it? My mom says when you get married, things change. Well obviously but she also said all you think about when your young is getting married, having a house, being a mom and stuff like that. Then once you are married you are like.."This is it?" I don't want that. I don't want my whole single life to be consumed by that stuff. I want to be used by God while I am single, to minister to others and to just be crazy and have a good time. When the time comes for me to be in a relationship im sure it will be awesome and fun, but I am having an awesome and fun time now. Like Dr. Dippold said, "It is okay to graduate college and STILL be single". When I graduate I am only going to be 21. Life is just beginning at that time!

I don't think I want to do what my mom did and get married in my early 20's. My mom has been married longer then she's been single. Not that she regrets doing it, but she always thinks about what it would be like if she dated around more, or stayed single for longer. It is quite alright with me to get married when I am successful and can support myself. I want to get established in a career and then get married. I dont want to rely on my husband for money either. I want to be able to support myself with my own hard earned money. When I am in my mid-20's or early 30's and God decides to send along the right person, that is quite alright with me. I am certainty in no rush.

But who knows- this is all MY plan, not Gods. Anything can change.

randomly random

randomly random

It is so incredibly strange how weird it is for me to be a sophomore. It was a crazy hectic week with start teams and the leadership training. I feel like I didn't get a break at all. I really loved every moment of it though, I wouldn't trade it for anything really. At first I didn't really have the right attitude towards it, but once the freshmen showed up it totally changed me. God is continually stretching me. It's a weird and scary thing. All these things I never thought I could do, or was good at, he is showing me I can do it. Alone, by myself. I don't need anyone else's help. I don't need to rely on my room mates, or my parents or anyone anymore. Every time I thought I wasn't doing a good job, there was someone who came along saying how good they thought I was at leadership or how happy they were that I was a leader. It was just a little confidence booster I guess. Doing all the same things on start teams as a leader is so weird, because it doesn't feel like I've been at school for a year. I defiantly would not trade it for anything. I love watching freshmen and being like..woah that was me last year. I wonder if I looked as young as some of the freshmen do .

The first couple days back at the forge I was dealing with some home sickness. I thought I wouldn't have to because I am used to being here by now. But that wasn't really the case. Im doing alright though. Classes started and im loving every second of it. My course load is not a lot at all because I took those summer classes. I am really excited about tomorrow because I have 2 psychology classes. I love learning. Anyone who says they don't like to learn or read really has problems. I just want to learn my whole life. Everyday I want to learn something new. I am blessed with the opportunity to be here and I wouldn't trade it for the world. I am so excited to see what God is going to do.

As of lately I have been having a hard time finding the line between standing up for myself, and being walked all over. In the past people have accused me of being mean, or blunt or whatever. I thought I cured that for a while. I sometimes just have a hard time finding the line. It really is a fine line. I don't really know what happened, I was never afraid in the past to stand up for myself. Sometimes I guess I'd rather just hold things in then confront them to avoid drama or hurt feelings. I guess there is always a nice way to say something. I mean I shouldn't feel bad for sticking up and fighting for myself. If I don't do it, then no one else really will. I guess this is the beginning of another lesson. I can't wait to see the outcome.

Another thing that's been on my mind is that I really really love being single. I don't think I would trade being single at this point in my life for anything right now. There is just such a freedom in being single that you don't really appreciate until you are well-single. I loved doing ministry this past week without worrying about a boy. I love being at college and not being consumed with finding 'the one', chasing down boys, all my time, effort or emotions being caught up in a relationship. I am at school for an education and to grow in the Lord and I love that. I am so happy with who I am and being free and single. Every girl should feel the way that I do. A lot of girls here are so worried about graduating without a fiancé or boyfriend. I honestly am expecting that. I don't care if I am single when I graduate. I'd almost prefer it. It leaves more options open for grad school and where I can go without feeling guilty or doing long distance or feeling tied down. There is more to life then worrying about getting married or whatever. I guess im just really enjoying life right now.

Does the pope wear a funny hat?

Sorry, but we are religious

This is something thats been on my mind recently, and in a note that my brother posted on facebook, he explains it better then i ever could. so here it is.

I'm so sick of college age people, grown adults, still using the phrase "Christianity is not a religion, it's a relationship!". Such a redundant, arrogant, and all around silly thing to say. Not only is it a horrible attempt at an apologetic statement, but it is ignorant and unbiblical. Christianity is a religion by definition, in fact I looked up "religion" in the dictionary, it gave me 9 definitions, all of which described Christianity. The main definition is this:
"a set of beliefs concerning the cause, nature, and purpose of the universe, esp. when considered as the creation of a superhuman agency or agencies, usually involving devotional and ritual observances, and often containing a moral code governing the conduct of human affairs."
Would you agree that this sounds a lot like Christianity?
Now I know what you're thinking, "that phrase simply means I am not a religious person, I just have a relationship with Christ". Well, I understand what that means. When you say that you mean that you are not religious like a Pharisee maybe.
But lets stop lying to ourselves, Christianity is a religion, don't be so afraid of the dreaded "R" word! Imagine saying "Christianity is not a religion, it's a relationship" to a Muslim. What would they say in response? Not only would they be extremely offended, but they would wonder how your relationship with God is any different than theirs. Now of course, Christianity is true and Christ is the only way, so as Christians we do claim to having the truth. But let's be Biblical Christians and practice our religion the way the Bible tells us to.

James 1:27 Religion that is pure and undefiled before God, the Father, is this: to visit orphans and widows in their affliction, and to keep oneself unstained from the world.

Now taking this verse into consideration, how many of us really are religious? I know I don't visit orphans and widows, maybe I should start. I suppose that not many of us really are Biblically religious, but my proposal is that we should be. Yes, Christianity is a relationship with God, but it is a religion as well, and if you want to maintain that relationship with God, you ought to practice that religion and "work out your salvation with fear and trembling" (Phil. 2:12). It works both ways. We should embrace true Biblical religion instead of running away from the "R" word. We are not in youth group any more. Let's stop using phrases found on Christian t-shirts as apologetic statements and start being real with ourselves and others.

Get grandma a glass of water

Today i helped my grandparents move to their brand new house. It was a happy day. They were excited and happy, and everyone was happy for them. While helpping them move in i realized the importance of having the right heart when being treated like a servant.

When doing stuff for other people (in todays case, unpacking dozens of boxes) it really is a pain in the butt, but having the right attitude about it can change everything. Putting things into perspective really helps a lot too. I had to keep reminding myself that i am young, i can lift more, move faster, and organize better then my grandparents can. They were very tired throughout the day and stopped a lot. Since i am a young chicken i got a lot accomplished in the meantime. I also realized that its better to offer to help rather then sitting around and getting nagged to help. When a person gets nagged to do something, it just makes you NOT want to do it even more., but if you offer to help, its really not that bad. If you have a terrible attitude towards it, you do it half way and its just a big ol' mess, which in that case someone else has to come and reorganize it or something and its taking away valuable time!

Jesus was the best example of serventhood. He was a servent when he didnt have to be. His disciples were confused when Jesus started washing their feet. It takes a lot of humility to do what Jesus did, and it is the best example of being a servent.

You know, maybe thats what half of the problem is. it takes humility to be a servent. (along with patience) People in todays world are way too prideful. A lot of people dont really know what its like to be humble. When given a sucky job, people either dont want to do it because they think they are better then that, or do it half way. In my opinion its better to not do something then to do it halfway. stop being lazy! If the Savior and King of the world can get on his knees and wash some stanky durrty disciple feet, you can get grandma a glass of water when she asks for it!

I learned that with the right heart and attitude, the Lord will bless you abundantly and Jesus is also smiling and gets a warm fuzzy feeling because He knows He has taught you well. Lets all be servents like Jesus was!

I will leave you with the words of my amazing President of vfcc, Dr. Meyer.

"Someone said that you know whether or not you're really a servant by the way your react when you are treated like one."