reflections..

I know im not very good at keeping up on blogging. I was looking back to last years entries, then i remembered why i like it so much. I love looking back and seeing how much i have grown and what i was dealing with this time last year in my life. I dont really have much memory of it though. It was a really tough time for me, i felt like i didnt know what i was doing with my life or where i was going. All these dreams and expectations i had for myself were suddenly shattered. I saw them die right before my eyes and it was a really hard time. I am just recently daydreaming again, just as much as i used t before. I wouldnt take it back though, i definitely needed that time to grow and decide where to go with my life.

These past couple months have been pretty nuts. School has been awesome. My best semester yet. It was a crazy eye openeing experience that was so different from christian college. At a christian school you get so used to being around christians all the time that you forget the 'real world' exists. Its unhealthy in a way. Being in a secular school i realized that there are people in the world who need to be touched. We live in a lost and dying world and people need our help. anyway.. Now that school is over i can focus on the market with dad. Christmas time is the craziest and i've been working 10 hour days. The time goes by fast but at the end of the day im so exhausted and so sore. Im saving all my money for when i go back to school (which is 3 weeks away!)

I haven't really thought about what its going to be like living at school again. It was exactly this time last year that i chose not to go back to vfcc. i cant believe it has been a year. It feels longer. Its going to be better this time. My attitude towards the school has changed and i know what i have to do. Sadly lots of people at vfcc have really bad feelings towards it and its highly disrespectful. I feel like i am a fair judge now since i have been gone and experienced a different educational atmosphere. The people at christian collges should be lucky that they are there. They dont know what its like to be in a classroom with muslim professors, a Buddhist professor and people who teach and speak of Jesus being gay.

I know time goes fast at college and i just need to be a normal 20 year old and enjoy it. I feel like being home i took on too much responsibility that a normal girl my age shouldnt have to deal with. Its going to be hard leaving again, probably even more so than the first time, but i really only have 1 1/2 years left.

I was looking back on last years entries and i was so excited to do all these new things, like learn how to cook, take photo classes and travel. its so funny to think about it now, that i didnt even know how to cook? I only knew how to do like one thing...now i practically cook everyday for work, and i come up with new recipies and try new things. Its so great. I can honestly say that the trip to china changed my life, in more than one way. I gained a new cutie sister but it also kind of figured out my life for me. It made me fall in love with the people of china, and also with the profession of social work and helping others. If i hadnt taken that time away from vfcc and if i didnt travel when i did, who knows where i would be now. As the year comes to a close, i am excited to see what 2009 will hold. I dont think it can get much better than 2008 though..i mean i went to china, fell in love with a beautiful little cutie baby, learned how to raise a child, learned how to be a great future wife for some lucky guy, learned how to run a business, learned how to apply myself in all things, and most of all i learned how to be compassionate, loving, daydreaming girl again...