redundantly redundant

This is kind of an extension off my other entry. This past week I've just really loved being single. Its kind of odd because for a while, especially this summer I kind of longed for a relationship. As much as that doesn't sound like me- its true. For some, being at school can be really difficult cause you see all the cute couples around campus and the people who got engaged this summer or whatever, but honestly, I wouldn't trade this stage in my life for any of that. I read peoples blogs and stuff and they say how hard this stage of their life is, and how they want a relationship and how they want people to care about them and yada yada. I realized that singleness is a total gift from God. I feel no responsibility to anyone, or no obligation to anyone. One thing I hated when I was in a relationship was the constant guilt I felt when I was with my boyfriend and not with friends, and truth be told, my friends were probably having more fun then I was.

I love just being at school and hanging out with whomever I want all the time. There is just such a freedom there. I loved doing ministry and being single. I love being alone when I want to, and focusing on my school work and MY future first. For the first time in a while I am thinking about myself. I am so used to putting others ahead of me and worrying about their needs first. This year is about me, and what I want and thinking about my future. I want to be able to do the things I want, without thinking about someone else. I mean that may sound a little selfish, but I want to travel, minister, work, and go to grad school without worrying about someone else in my life. I don't want to NOT do something that I am passionate about because someone else is holding me back.

In the words of my mother "Marriage is like- FOREVER". Why are people in such a rush to do it? My mom says when you get married, things change. Well obviously but she also said all you think about when your young is getting married, having a house, being a mom and stuff like that. Then once you are married you are like.."This is it?" I don't want that. I don't want my whole single life to be consumed by that stuff. I want to be used by God while I am single, to minister to others and to just be crazy and have a good time. When the time comes for me to be in a relationship im sure it will be awesome and fun, but I am having an awesome and fun time now. Like Dr. Dippold said, "It is okay to graduate college and STILL be single". When I graduate I am only going to be 21. Life is just beginning at that time!

I don't think I want to do what my mom did and get married in my early 20's. My mom has been married longer then she's been single. Not that she regrets doing it, but she always thinks about what it would be like if she dated around more, or stayed single for longer. It is quite alright with me to get married when I am successful and can support myself. I want to get established in a career and then get married. I dont want to rely on my husband for money either. I want to be able to support myself with my own hard earned money. When I am in my mid-20's or early 30's and God decides to send along the right person, that is quite alright with me. I am certainty in no rush.

But who knows- this is all MY plan, not Gods. Anything can change.