and that, my friend is what i call closure

This weekend was a lovely weekend in new jersey. I got to hang with the garbowskys who are amazing and i missed them so much. Except i didn't see greg which i hope i would. hes is doin his thang. I got to also see Daniel which was awesome. I was super stoked to see everyone from evangel. I didnt really get to hang out with them but i got to talk to them for a while. Jen and mike weren't there but maybe next time.

It was extremely awkward in evangel today though. I walk in and its like i dont even notice anyone anymore. I know its a big church, it always has been been, but at least i knew a lot of the faces. Now i dont know anyone. It seems like all the regulars dont even go anymore. I felt like a stranger in my own home. A new young adults ministry started too, last week. I tried going but i just couldnt do it. Unless you were a part of the upper room crowd you should stop reading right now cause you wont know how i feel-

Its like, being replaced. Nobody likes that. I (we) all took such pride in the upper room. Pastor Walter was amazing and so hardcore.. We grew so much as a worship team and as a ministry. We all grew as friends too. Some friendships will never be forgotten or replaced. To just start up another ministry like this hurts me so badly. I walked in tonight and stayed and just left. I couldnt do it. Besides the fact that so many people from school go there. It was so weird. I love people from school, dont get me wrong, but seeing people from school at my church..on my stage doing worship....peoople who dont even go to evangel in a leadership position i guess kind of bothers me. Its just so weird how things change. One of the biggest things for me was being at school on a sunday night knowing that upper room was going on without me. The same thing with evangel on sunday mornings..knowing my crew i hung out regularly would hang out without me after church...but life goes on. I finally have full closure of me being where i am right now. I know im not missing out on anything back in jersey anymore. I mostly miss the people in church and not the church.

....so it goes.