Weddings! I love weddings, drinks all around

Well tonight another family member got married off. It was really really nice seeing all the old 'gang' again. I havent seen most of them since mikes wedding. Lately i've been talking to lots of old friends. Its weird when you stop talking to them, you dont really realize they are missing, but when you pick up the friendship again you realize how much you miss them. if you're really good friends, you pick up right where you left off.

anyway- its weird how things are changing. Family is leaving home and starting their own family. Jon and Cyndi are going to be in North Carolina, so i probably wont see them like ever. Jon had his own life during my teenage years, but he was really a big part of my childhood. Its weird that hes going to be gone again after he lived in scotch plains for so long. Its really weird that you never know or appreciate what you have until its gone, or moved.

Weddings are lovely. Bittersweet i guess some would say. Nice to celebrate love, but sad because for the single people, makes us realize we have a long way to go. But hey- there is lots of life to live for me before ever settling down. I'm kind of weird with that, my opinion of marriage fluctuates daily. Oh well! Back to reality tomorrow. Gotta go to school and take some exams, thennnnn fall break!! im so excited for it, i get to hang out with pat and julie, ANNND go to evangel for the first time in a longgggg time, hopefully i will see people from upper room, though its not upper room anymore, but i get to check out the new student ministry. i think that was the longest run on sentance in the world. My break isnt going to be much of a break cause i have 2 papers to write, but at least i'll be home.

okay sleepies =)

another year gone by

Well yesterday i turned 19. Do i feel different? no. Do i have more wisdom? maybe. It seems like every year that goes by, i look back to my last age and i say "What did i know then? I was just a kid!" Even this time last year i felt like a baby.
I cant believe this is my last year of being a teenager. Its crazy.

I feel like i repeat myself over and over in these things, but this week i learned how to stand up for myself! It feels really good.

My parents came up for my birthday this weekend. We went to the cheesecake factory. mmmm! It was so good. Then i saw rocco last night and that was really nice. Then today i went to a movie to see Across the Universe. It was kind of like Pink Floyd's the wall, but different. It was really awesome, i want to see it again. okay well im tired and i have to study.

highbar

If there are 2 things i have been taught throughout my short amount of time on the earth is 1- dont compromise and 2- never lower your standards

Recently i have been thinking about if i am too picky or not. Is being too picky a good thing when it comes to the opposite sex? I've been asked a lot how do i know what i want in a guy, and how do i know if he is right for me without dating him, call it a 6th sense or whatever but i guess i just know.

For example, yesterday i was sitting at the dinner table with some friends and the topic of churchs came up. One person said he has never been outside an A/G church before, nor does he care to be. He kept saying that is a personal preference, but to me i wouldn't be able to date someone like that. To me, that comes across as spiritual ignorance. Is a little thing like that being too picky? I mean, i dont go to an A/G church so it would never even work out, but if that person is spiritually ignorant in that part of his life, what else could he be so close minded about?

I guess i just know what i want in a guy...i just have really high standards to meet. Looks like i'll be single for a while because there isnt one person here who meets my standards, and i'll never lower them for a dumb boy.

new perspectives

I think the title of my blog is really true. I was thinking last night about how fast things can change. when i say things i mean, friends, perspectives, houses, theories...everything. Change is on-going, and along with change comes different views. I guess that is something i've learned this weekend. Detail is not nessicary in this perticular situation, well it is..and some people know what im talking about, but the others who dont....well thats okay too.

one and only?

Jessy came home with me this weekend. We went to 2 barnes and nobles to get a good devotional for her. I was browsing through the dating and the relationship books, as i normally am, and i picked one up that caught my eye. I dont really remember the title of it, i knew i should have wrote it down but i was lazy and didnt. Anyway i opened it and glanced at the table of contents. I saw a chapter titles and one of them was something along the lines of "one and only"

I feel like a lot of girls especially in the christian circle wait for "the one" alot of people think there is ONE perfect person out there for them and they should wait for them. As much as i think about alot of anti dating things this guy made a lot of sense.

There is more then one perfect person out there for you. Think about it logically. There are over 6 billion people in the world today. If there was just ONE person out there for you, realistically what are the odds you even meet that person? What if they lived on the other side of the world, then you'd never meet them. There are thousands of people in the world that a person is compatable with.

its a very odd feeling to me when my views about something i've believed in so strongly are challenged or changed. Things are constantly changing, the way i think, the things i do, even recently the way i look. Nothing is ever the same. The only constant thing in life is change.

life is just awkward

September already? How did this even happen. Im not sure. Well in a couple more weeks I will officially be in school for a month. One whole month. The time really does go by fast. I try to enjoy every single day because the college years are something you can just never get back. God has already shown me so much within the past couple weeks of being here. One of them was the start teams. I was thinking about it today how I was terrified of doing it. Im not one to make small talk, I never was, especially with total strangers. Me and my room mates were talking about it the other day and they said with the people I am still friends with on my team, I can be totally myself around them. Its really weird because I haven’t known them that long and I can be myself around them. Anyone who knows me knows that I put walls up. My room mates said with start teams I really didn’t have time to put my walls up. I wanted them to feel excited and comfortable at school so I tried to be as myself and as crazy as possible instead of the held back guarded person I normally am. It felt really good to by myself around strangers that I now call my friends. I guess that is something I have to learn how to do more often. I also liked that I now feel I have the ability to make small talk with anyone. It sounds silly but I just never could or knew how to. I don’t feel as intimated now to go up to some freshman and sit with them at lunch and just talk to them, where as before start teams I would have never been able to do that. My mom is really good at that kind of stuff and I admire her for that. I could never do it. Its not that I don’t have an interest in that total stranger who is standing in front of me, I guess I am always worried that I say something stupid or it just becomes extremely awkward. But as of lately im realizing my whole life is one big awkward moment.